“Get off my farm!” – The Battle for Schweindorf (part 1/2): a narrative Warhammer mini-campaign

Having waxed lyrical about narrative wargaming in the previous article, it seems only fitting to take you through a recent mini-campaign Niklas (of Old World Lives podcast fame) and I played. It was all the sweeter for being the only wargaming I’ve managed to do since lockdown.

As per my article, the key is to not go too over-the-top with organisation if time and resources are limited. As I was busy finishing painting my 1,000 points Empire list, the only preparation involved was to dream up a story and sequence of events… and to paint piggies.

We decided to switch between 3 different rules systems: Warhammer Fantasy 6^th edition, Warhammer Warbands & Warhammer Skirmish.

To give an idea of available time, we started at around 3pm on a Sunday (after the obligatory pint to help one of the local pubs after lockdown) and played three games that day, followed by a quick fourth game the next morning.

 

^^^ Socially-distanced and with lockdown locks which had to be heavily tamed with conditioner.

A Free-Range Funeral

In the dense woods of the north of the Empire, close by the border with Kislev, lies Schweindorf.

Marcus von Schweindorf*

Schweindorf is an unusually charming village for such a remote place. Its main source of revenue is the wild pigs which roam under the oak trees, feeding on acorns.

The best that could be said of the local land-owner, Baron Marcus von Schweindorf, was that he was relatively easy to ignore – despite his eccentric lime green clothes, corpulent profile and booming voice. Marcus rarely ventured into the village and his only ambition was to hunt the wild boars which disturbed his pigs. When Marcus died by hitting a low branch while riding his long-suffering shire-horse – the only beast strong enough to take his weight – it might have seemed a little ungrateful of the pigs to have consumed his corpse. The baron’s absence went unnoticed for some time and his fate was only understood when his ostentatious lime green cap was found.

His Kislevite wife – or I should say widow – the charismatic Lady Anjelina made an unconvincing show of public grief. In secret, she sent word across the border to her suspected lover, Boyar Zhukov, that Schweindorf was ready for the taking. Some wagging tongues in the village said the same was true of the widow herself, but that is another matter.

*A failed artist's impression of the baron, based on 'Falstaff' by Eduard von Grützner.

The wealth of Schweindorf

Game 1: “Get off my farm” – Warhammer Warbands, 250pts

Bold Sergeant Sigmund

Sigmund peered through the trees. The scouts had not been wrong. On the far side of the cottage used by a local swineherd he could see riders. Their curved blades, bare torsos and ridiculous pony-tail haircuts could only mean one thing: Kislevites.

He could not tell how many were there. This could be a small patrol or the vanguard of a large army. His stroked his thick forked beard as he weighed up his options. The sensible thing would be to head back and report to Friedrich. But a doubt gnawed at him. The Fox Lord liked his men to be decisive and he did not want to seem a coward. On the other hand, he knew how furious Friedrich had been when Captain Ludwig had taken on a Dwarf force only a few months earlier. Though he had brought back some treasure, it had cost the lives of a dozen men – and Friedrich could not easily replace them. Still, he had little choice; this seemingly insignificant farm was far too close to the Fox Lord’s lair to let it fall into hostile hands.

He turned to one of the young pistoliers who sought their fortune serving Friedrich.

“Tell your master that we have encountered an enemy scouting party of unknown strength near Schweindorf and that I intend to engage them immediately.”

The young man nodding, swept back his immaculate locks, donned his helmet and galloped of.

“Posh boys….” muttered Sigmund, shaking his head. “Right you lot. Let’s teach these scoundrels a lesson. This is our farm now.”

Game 1 rules & set-up

For this scenario, we opted to use the Warhammer Warband rules. They’re ideal for little patrol encounters, as they’re faster to use than Skirmish (which is a bit clunky for more than a dozen men) and take into account unit sizes. It means you have to gamble between having larger units that stand a decent chance of winning combats or having more small units that are manoeuvrable.

Each side had 250pts and we would be fighting to control a swineherd’s hut. These were the forces, so far as I can remember.

Empire force

- Commander: Sergeant Sigmund (leading the spearmen)

- 9 Spearmen with standard, musician, light armour and shields

- 6 Huntsmen with longbows

- 6 Halberdiers (I forgot during this game that they get free light armour)

- 3 Pistoliers (the “Posh Boys”)

 

Kislev force

Commander: Kossar Champion Zoltan (leading one unit of kossars)

- 3 Kossars with great weapons and bows

- 3 Kossars with great weapons and bows

- 3 Kossars with great weapons and bows

- 3 Ungol Horse Archers

- 2 Ungol Horse Archers

Note: every single Kislevite carries a bow, but they are outnumbered due to their high points cost and Niklas’ choice to take 2 units of cavalry.

The fight

The hut was just off-centre, closer to the Kislevite board edge, to represent the head-start Anjelina’s message gave them. I deployed my huntsmen in the woods nearest to the hut. My halberdiers went up the left flank and my pistoliers – with their envious 16” marching speed – hung back behind trees on the right flank. The spearmen would go straight up the centre. My progress was slowed somewhat slowed by the number of woods of my side, though they did offer cover against all those bows.

The Kislevites focused on the objective, with all three units of kossars moving to occupy the courtyard with its wall. The larger unit of horse archers supported them opposite my centre. The smaller unit of horse archers moved towards my halberdiers on my flank.

Not wanting to expose my fragile pistoliers to 10 bow shots over at least 2 turns (no Light Brigade are they!), I moved them behind my spearmen, hoping to get stuck in promptly. At that angle, Niklas had few targets. My huntsmen failed to make any kills at all. His 2 horse archers on my left soon took out enough halberdiers to force a panic test. My brave halberdiers turned tail and ran.

I used my huntsmen to taunt the kossars at the wall, but they sensibly held back. Though the wall made me nervous, I knew I had to get stuck in; the spearmen had already lost 2 men. Sigmund led them in a charge against the two unit of kossars at the wall. The wall was too much of an obstacle though and the Kislevites’ great weapons took their toll. Sigmund was forced to flee with only four fellow spearmen left.

Meanwhile, the halberdiers on the left flank rallied and the huntsmen sent a volley of arrows which killed one of the two riders on that flank, causing the other to flee.

Things were looking good for Niklas, though, who had control of both sides of the hut thanks to the other unit of horse archers arriving on my left.

 

The wheel of fortune

Niklas sent his other unit of horse archers – 3-men strong – around the hut to have a go at the rallied halberdiers. The huntsmen unexpectedly killed 2 of them in one turn, prompting the third to flee. The halberdiers thus had a clear path – but they were painfully far away.

To my surprise, Niklas decided that the halberdiers might just get round the hut in time to encircle the kossars and so sent one unit over the wall to charge the huntsmen! My pistoliers needed no further invitation and swiftly crashed into their flank, 6 pistols blazing. Though the antics had reduced the huntsmen to 4 men, the kossars were destroyed.

At this point, Zoltan decided he had had enough of this mucking about and took the situation into his own hands. His unit of kossars shot at the 3 halberdiers who had finally made it around the hut, killing 2 of them, before taking position at the wall. The surviving halberdier had a daunting challenge.

 

Peter’s charge

Peter gasped. His friends had just been killed before his eyes, pierced by wickedly accurate arrows. He peered around the hut and saw two fearsome Kislevites waiting, taunting him in their savage tongue, brandishing their heavy axes in his direction. He was a fair-haired farm boy of barely 16. His parents had never shown him much love and he had run away. In the fox Lord’s lair, he had found a new home. More than that; he had found a new family. He knew his duty. Lord Friedrich would never hide behind a swineherd’s hut.

Peter braced himself, took a deep breath, and charged. As he neared the jeering men, his foot slipped on pig muck, sending him sprawling head-first. He didn’t even see the axe that came down to end his life.

Back at the wall, the pistoliers charged, only to be shot clean out of their saddles. Sigmund’s spears were already running away as fast as they could through the woods.

In the end, it came down to this: Zoltan and a fellow kossar, behind their wall, against 3 huntsmen. The huntsmen weighed up the odds, seeing little chance of victory, and lossed their arrows.

Every. Single. Arrow. Struck.

The fall of Zoltan

Zoltan heard the man beside him fall to the ground, looked up, and saw an arrow fly towards him. He tried to duck, but the range was too short. It buried itself into his neck. As he gurgled blood, a grizzly huntsman approached him.

The man kicked him to the ground.

“Next time someone tells you to get off their farm, you get off their farm.”

So that, dear reader, was game 1; and what a game it was! For most of the first half we were sure Niklas wound win. Then his luck turned and I felt confident of victory. Then it was down to his 2 fearsome kossars aginst my 3 feeble huntsmen and I despaired again. But luck was with me and I won – just.

 

Game 2: “Shoot the Messenger” – Warhammer Skirmish, 100 pts + a hero

Oleg attempts a breakthrough

Oleg cursed. Where had those soldiers come from? Lady Anjelina had told them the only troops for miles where the late Baron’s inept bodyguard who now served her, yet here were battle-hardened warriors bearing the insignia of the Fox Lord. Oleg had heard reports of this mysterious and troublesome new arrival. No one seemed to know quite whence he came and yet his power was growing rapidly.

He needed to get back to warn the others that an army was in the area. Looking behind him, he could see archers moving through the trees. He’d have to make a dash for it.

“Come on lads. We’re going that way.” He pointed through the trees. “Split up and ride hard. Whatever happens, one of us must make it back to our lines. Stop for nothing.”

Game 2 rules & set-up

For this game, we chose the Warhammer skirmish rules, as they would allow us to have lots of single models and no clumsy wheeling; ideal for this game’s story.

One of the quirks of Warhammer Skirmish is that when a person is wounded on a 6, they suffer 2 hits without armour save. For any wounds (critical or not) which aren’t save, they are not automatically killed. Instead, you roll a D6 to determine whether they are knocked down (lie on their back), stunned (lie on their front) or out of action (killed).

If they are knocked out, they take one turn to get up and – if attacked – all attacks against them hit automatically. If they are stunned, they take 2 turns to get up (1 turn stunned, then 1 turn knocked down). Any stunned model who is attacked is automatically killed.

We decided it would be fitting for a small force of light cavalry to represent Kislevite messengers desperate to warm their commander that a renegade imperial army was in the area. To face them would be a small mixed force representing the Fox Lord’s scouts.

The Kislevites’ objective was to get a single rider off the opposite table edge. The catch: we would play length-ways on a 6’x4’ table and I was allowed to deploy my men anywhere. The table had narrow corridors between trees and marshland.

The postman always knocks you out twice

Despite the Skirmish special rules, this game was by far the quickest of the three. I chose to spread my archers in a line across the middle of the table, with 2 pistoliers in reserve. Niklas wisely sent all his 5 riders down one side and, after quite feeble resistance from my archers, the Kislevites punched their way through. There was simply too much space for me to hope to block all five with my two pistoliers and so I reluctantly conceded defeat.

Nonetheless, it was a really fun game that has me scratching my head over what I would do differently next time.

Ahead of the main battle, we had each scored a victory.

 

As this post is getting rather long and pic-heavy, I shall continue this tale later.

To be continued...